I’m such a loser for being here. Why am I trying this? It’s not going to help me. These were the kind of thoughts that ran through my mind as I sat in my Dialectical Behavioral Therapy class. Despite everything I had been told, the lessons were not having the life changing effect that I thought that they would. I really wanted to change and tried my best, but I couldn’t help but feel that what I was learning wasn’t really helping me.
That was the beginning of my experience with DBT. DBT or Dialectical Behavioral Therapy is a skills group usually taught by mental health professionals that helps people to better deal with their emotions, relationships, as well as one’s own interpersonal conflicts.
DBT was recommenced as a treatment for me when I found out I was pregnant with my son. I had been struggling for years with behavioral issues, most notably angry outbursts. However, I wanted and now had very good reason to change.
Despite this, I was still struggling in the class. Every week I would go in and look at the white binder in front of me and feel discouraged. When am I going to learn something that will help me? I thought. Then one day I was taught about the “turning the mind” skill.
This particular skill comes from the distress tolerance section of the DBT manual. It is designed to help someone who is not wanting to accept something that is going on around them. Any time someone catches themselves in negative thoughts, they decide that they are going to accept what is happening as it is. If these thoughts return, then the person in turn decides to accept what is happening as it is again. This process can be repeated over and over until the person feels confident in accepting the reality of the situation.
But the therapists in my group took this a step further. They taught that not only could this skill be used to help someone accept reality, but it could also be used to help with negative thoughts in general. Whenever I caught my mind beginning to run down a rabbit hole of negative thinking (or even if I found myself completely immersed in the dark tunnel) I would make a deliberate decision to think about something else.
As simple as it sounds, constantly thinking about my thinking was an exhausting process. Because of how events in my life had affected me, I subconsciously spent a lot of time looking for things to go wrong. Such thinking has an effect on the mind over time. It colored my thoughts so that only negative one’s prevailed.
I had to devote a lot of my mental energy into changing thought patterns that I had lived with all of my life. Sometimes it was as simple as catching a thought like “I’m such a horrible person” and replacing it with “I’m doing the best that I can.” But usually, it was more difficult. When I would find myself barraged with negative thoughts that wouldn’t stop coming, even my newfound way of thinking wouldn't be enough. In these circumstances, I would have to think of anything that would keep my mind clear. This often took the form of repeating over and over in my mind the steps of what I was doing. Although tedious, the strategy began to work, and I began to be more in control of my thoughts.
Eventually, changing my thought patterns became easier as I practiced more with it. As my thinking became clearer, I began to see the value in what I was doing. Practicing this one particular skill was making my life easier. I no longer felt compelled to think about everything in a negative light. As my mind felt clearer, I began to be more open to other skills in DBT and how they might help me. The more skills I was willing to try out, the more I became interested in DBT and could see the impact it was having on my life.
My transformation was slow and, at times, more difficult than I would have liked. I had many obstacles to overcome and still do. But the more work and effort I was willing to put in, the better results I saw in myself. Today I can say that DBT and the turning the mind skill have truly changed my life. Now when I catch myself in negative thinking, I know I have a choice I can make. I can either remain on the path I am on, continuing to think negatively or I can decide to think more positively.
Comentarios