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It was a warm spring morning that only held the best of intentions. I got out of my car and walked down the steps to the office building where I work. Everything seemed normal in the tree lined pavilion near the front of the building. There was only one other person in the vicinity, a student from a high school down the street. I didn’t think much about this because I saw students hanging around all the time. I tried the door to the building and noticed that it was locked. Unbothered, I pulled out my keys and tried to open the door. The door wouldn’t budge. I tried again with the same result. The keys I had been given didn’t always work the first time, so sometimes unlocking the door was an exercise in patience. As I tried the lock for a third time, I heard a voice shouting something unintelligible. That’s when the panic started. I still have no idea why the high school student started yelling at me, but the effect it had was profound. I immediately felt my body tense up. It was hard to breathe, and my hands started trembling as a wave of adrenaline overwhelmed me. I felt tears stinging at my eyes and I just wanted to be anywhere but where I was in that movement. I tried the door again and it would not yield. The yelling continued and intensified as I tried the door again and again. When I finally got the door open, I rushed down the hall and into my office and closed the door. Feeling shaky and disoriented, I sat down at my desk and tried to collect myself. What I had just experienced was a Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD trigger. Like many times I have been triggered, I am not sure why that particular event led to an episode. My PTSD was caused by a severely traumatic “relationship” that I experienced in my mid-twenties that involved physical, sexual, and emotional violence. It is common for survivors of all types of violence, be it in the military, domestic violence, or other types of abuse to develop PTSD. The condition can also be caused by experiencing some other kind of traumatic event such as an accident or natural disaster. But PTSD is more than just experiencing anxiety. The brains of people with PTSD do not operate the way that a healthy brain does. In the brain of someone with PTSD, the amygdala, the part of the brain that is responsible for flight or fight response, is far too active. While the prefrontal cortex, which helps to calm the body down after something dangerous happens, is not active enough. (1) The person experiencing these issues lives in a constant state of readiness, as if something dangerous were going to happen all of the time. PTSD is a complex condition that affects or has affected nearly four percent of the world's population (2). PTSD can cause nightmares, panic attacks and other symptoms that make day to day life difficult. My experience with the condition has gradually lessened over time with therapy and life changes, but it isn’t this way for everyone. In order for there to be a greater understanding of PTSD, there are a few things that everyone should know. PTSD triggers can happen anywhere at any time. Some may wrongfully assume that triggers are only caused by frightening events. However, something that may seem innocuous to you may cause a trigger in someone else. One such trigger for me is motor homes, particularly smaller ones. I was forced to live in one for a summer by my assailant and it was the setting of much of the violence took place. As mentioned above, sometimes I am not fully aware of what set off the trigger. This is also true for others with PTSD. The constant fear of triggers can make going out in public stressful for persons with this condition. Also, people with PTSD have no control over their triggers. I have personally experienced people being offended because I was triggered by something. If something causes a PTSD reaction in me or in anyone else, we cannot just choose whether we want to experience it. Triggers don’t work that way. A trigger sets off a “flight or fight” response in your brain and your body reacts to the trigger as if you were experiencing the trauma all over again. Those who live with PTSD often find themselves in a heightened state of awareness. This means that they are constantly on the lookout for real or perceived dangers. I often find myself anxious when I hear people talking or other noises outside of my house. These types of anxieties may cause people to avoid crowds, need to know where exits are when they enter a room, not want to sit with their back to a room or take any other number of precautions. Combined with worries about triggers and actively experiencing them, PTSD can be an exhausting condition to live with. As mentioned above, PTSD changes the way that your brain reacts not just to stress, but often to everyday life. Learning how to overcome the patterns of thought generated by these brain changes takes time and therapy. I still live with the hyper alertness that comes with PTSD. After years of therapy and eye movement desensitization and reprocessing or EMDR treatment, I have learned to better cope with my symptoms. This often involves telling myself on a daily basis that everyday things, people and places that I see threats in are benign. This has taken a lot of time and patience, but it is possible. The final thing I would like to share with you about PTSD is that it can be overcome. I can personally attest to this. It has not been easy, but I have learned to live with my PTSD. Through time, therapy and support systems, people with PTSD can overcome their challenges. Although it is difficult and may seem at times insurmountable, people with this condition can go on to lead successful lives. (1) https://www.verywellmind.com/what-exactly-does-ptsd-do-to-the-brain-2797210 (2) https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/post-traumatic-stress-disorder

Imagine this. You are a farm boy in 1820. Religious revival is the trend of the time. All around you, preachers are vying for your attention. But you just can’t figure out which church you should join. One day, you are reading your bible and come across James 1:5. It says, “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.” The verse hits you with such power that you just know what you have to do. You go into the woods. Upon finding an appropriate spot, you kneel down and start praying. You are pouring your heart out to God when the most awful feeling you have ever experienced comes over you. You can’t speak, you can hardly think. Just when you feel you are done for and are ready to give up, a pillar of light appears over you and the darkness is driven away. In the light stand two Personages. One of them calls you by name and then turns to the other saying, “This is my Beloved Son. Hear Him!” Now what if I told you this was a true story? It is. This is the story of Joseph Smith, the prophet who restored the church of Christ on the earth. It may sound a bit strange to some, but this is what I believe. So how did I come to this conclusion? Let me explain. It started with me watching TV when I was younger. Yes, TV. In between spots for my favorite Saturday morning cartoons, I would often see commercials advertising the Book of Mormon. These commercials usually gave a brief overview of the stories told in 3rd Nephi, focusing on the fact that Christ appeared to the people of the ancient Americas. Seeing this, I remembered something I had been taught in school. When the Spanish Conquistadors came to South America, the people there thought they were gods. This belief was based on a light-skinned, bearded god that they were expecting to return. In my young mind I thought that maybe there could be some truth to the idea that Jesus could have visited the Americas after His resurrection. I wasn’t curious enough to pick up the phone and call the number, but the seed had been planted. Move forward several years in the future. I’m living in Utah and am visiting my dad and stepmom. That day they are meeting with missionaries from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Living in Utah, I had been exposed to this church but had decided that it wasn’t for me. I was, however, willing to listen to my parent's guests. As I had mentioned in an earlier post , I found what the missionaries had to say about Joseph Smith intriguing. I had read in the bible about how God used ordinary men and women to do His will, so why wouldn’t He do it again? But I was thrown a bit by the idea of prophets in the modern world. The only prophets I was familiar with where the ones in the bible. The way I saw them, their primary duty was to tell everyone that Jesus was going to come and be our Savior. And since this had already happened, I didn’t really see the need for them. But as I learned and grew in the gospel, I began to see the purpose behind modern prophets. They were needed not just to tell everyone about Jesus, but also to lead and guide His people. Suddenly seeing Joseph Smith as a prophet seemed to make more sense. Though I fairly readily believed in the mission of Joseph Smith, my testimony continued to grow as I moved through my life. One of the greatest points in my testimony comes from trying to write a book. Many of Joseph Smith’s critics say that he somehow wrote the Book of Mormon and then dictated it to his scribes rather than translating it. I know from my own escapade into writing how difficult it is to write a book. It’s been my experience that I have to keep pages of notes and outlines just to keep one plot line, a few subplots, and handful of characters straight. I can’t even imagine trying to keep straight the multiple plot lines, characters, genealogies, and timelines that are involved in the Book of Mormon. Then to memorize all of it and dictate it – word for word – as he would have had to have done. I just simply don’t believe it would have been possible. Something that also added to my testimony was everything Joseph Smith was willing to go through for the sake of his teachings. Joseph Smith was beaten, tared and feathered, and imprisoned multiple times due to his expressions of faith. He ultimately died as a result of them. I don’t believe that someone who had simply made all of this stuff up would have been willing to go through everything he went through if he hadn’t seriously believed what he was saying. All of this being said, I would like to make one thing very clear. I do not see Joseph Smith as some kind of deity. There are some who are outside of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints who think members of the church worship Joseph Smith. This is not true. While venerated, he is not worshiped any more than we would worship Moses, Elijah or any other prophet. I genuinely believe that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God. That he translated the Book of Mormon through power of God. I believe that he was chosen to bring forth the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. I believe that through reading the Book of Mormon, people can be drawn closer to God and his Son, Jesus Christ. And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Right before I go to sleep, I often find myself in prayer. I start these prayers by describing to the Lord the things I am grateful for. Usually, it is for the big things in my life like my home and family. But I also try to find small things to be grateful for like finding my keys on a busy morning. After doing this for many years, I find that it helps me to feel better not just about the day, but also about life in general. Expressing gratitude, in any form, can help us greatly in our lives. It is good for both our mental and spiritual health. For our mental health, it can help us deal with our emotions as well as reduce jealousy and stress. Spiritually, it can help us to more fully love others, deal with trials and bring us closer to God. According to an article on the website Psychology Today, being grateful can help us reduce our negative emotions. When we are grateful for the things around us, we have a tendency to focus more on the positive than the negative. This in turn creates an abundance of positive emotions. People who practice gratitude are also less likely to compare themselves with others. Instead of concentrating on everything they don’t have, grateful people are happy with what they do. Going through life this way, they are less likely to envy the successes and possessions of others. Several studies have shown that practicing gratitude can reduce the stress in our lives. As mentioned earlier, the more that we are aware of the good things around us, the less likely we are to focus on the bad. When we do this, we worry less and in return can reduce our stress. We are all aware of the commandment to “love thy neighbor,” but did you know that showing gratitude can help us to do just that? According to a 2012 study, people who were more grateful showed “more sensitivity and empathy toward other people…” This was even true when the people involved were treated poorly (1). Being grateful can also help us deal with life when things don’t go the way we would have hoped they would. Life’s difficulties have a tendency to bring us down, especially when we dwell upon them. But if we can find gratitude for the good things in our lives, then we become less effected by the negative. This attitude makes trials easier to cope with. Finally, when we express our thanks to our Heavenly Father, it brings us closer to Him. Recognizing God as the source of our blessings, we cannot help but feel His love for us. This in turn makes us want to be closer to Him. We may think of gratitude as a way that we can show our love for God, but it is also a way that God shows His love for us. When we are grateful, we are able to experience many blessings that will help us in our lives. The more grateful we are, the more of these blessings we receive. In this way, gratitude creates a circle that can help us to live our best lives. (1) https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201504/7-scientifically-proven-benefits-of-gratitude

It’s hard to know what to expect before you receive your temple endowment (1), especially if you are a convert to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. If you were born into the church, you may have done baptisms for the dead in the temple and heard about it while you were growing up. Even if you were, the temple endowment is quite different from doing baptisms. I remember when I went to receive my own endowment. I was so excited to finally be able to enter the House of the Lord and receive those blessings that He had for me there. I remember just trying to take everything in. The grandeur of the temple, that blessings that were given, the promises being made. Everything went perfectly fine until I got the end of the endowment session itself where there is a dialogue that must be spoken. I thought that I would have to remember the entire thing, word for word, and recite it perfectly. I started to panic, so much so that I ended up having a panic attack. I did not know that the temple workers would be there to help me make it through and they did. But it did put a damper on an otherwise wonderful experience. Since I wouldn't want anyone else to have their endowment experience to be at all uncomfortable, I would like to go on to explain what goes on before, during and after the temple endowment. Since I know of the sacredness of the temple, I am using only church approved resources as I write this guide. Everything I talk about here can be found on the Church's website or can be seen and/or discussed outside of the temple. The purpose of this article is to give you a step by step, streamlined guide as to what happens during the endowment. The first step in your temple endowment involves getting a temple recommend (2). To get a temple recommend, you must be 18 and no longer attending high school. You need to have been a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for at least one year. If you are a man, you must also have been ordained to the Melchizedek Priesthood (3). Members need to be living by certain expectations. In order to determine if the member is doing so, they have an interview with their bishop, (4) member of their bishopric, (5) or in some cases, a branch president. In this interview, the member is asked a series of questions that determine if they are living by certain gospel standards. These include questions about their faith in Jesus Christ, if they sustain church leaders, and if they follow the commandments and teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. If you would like to know the specific questions asked, you can find them in this article . If the person is found worthy, they then go on to have an interview with the stake president (6). In this interview, the stake president will then ask the member the same questions as before. If the stake president also finds the person worthy, they are granted a recommend for living ordinances as well as a regular temple recommend. Some people will choose to take a temple preparation class. Although, not required, a temple preparation class will help you to better understand the temple and its sacredness. If temple preparation class is not available, or you would like more detailed information, the Church has a page on its website dedicated to temples. You can find it here . After receiving your recommend, but before you go to the temple, you will choose an escort. An escort is someone who will go through the temple with you and will help explain things to you make sure that you are comfortable with the process. You may also ask other people who are endowed, such as friends and/or relatives if they would like to go to your endowment session. Note that there will also be other worshipers with you in your endowment session. It won’t be just you and the people that you invited. I didn’t know this when I went to get my own endowment and it threw me off a bit. Before you enter the temple, you will have the opportunity to buy the sacred clothing that is worn in the temple. This includes the white outer clothing, ceremonial clothing and the temple garment. (7) You will be able to find this clothing at your local distribution center. You will not be required to buy the ceremonial clothing to enter the temple. This clothing can be rented at the temple itself. You will, however, be required to buy garments. Garments are underclothing worn after your endowment. They serve to remind you of the covenants made in the temple. They come in many different fabrics, and you can choose the ones that will be the most comfortable for you. When you go to purchase your garments for the first time, you will need to bring a temple recommend with you. You will not be able to purchase the garments or ceremonial clothing without it. You will need to bring a set of garments with you when you come to the temple for the first time. The day of your endowment, when you arrive at the temple, you will show your recommend to the workers at the front desk. From there you will be guided to where you need to go by your escort, temple workers or both. The first ordinance you will undergo in the temple is called the initiatory. The initiatory takes place in an individual setting. In this ordinance, you will receive special blessings that will prepare you to receive your endowment and will go with you throughout your earthly life and beyond. It is here where you will be sanctioned to wear garments. Next, you will move on to the endowment. During the endowment, you will watch a video outlining events from our pre-earth life, the creation of the world, the fall of Adam and Eve and their life outside of the Garden of Eden. As a part of the endowment ceremony, you will make certain covenants with God. There are five covenants in all. The first is the Law of Obedience, where you agree to follow God’s commandments. Next is the Law of Sacrifice, where you agree to do God's work and repent regularly. Third is the Law of the Gospel, where you agree to follow the principles of the gospel that Jesus taught while He was on the earth. Fourth is the law of Chastity, where you agree to only have sexual relations with your legally married spouse. And finally, is the law of Consecration, where you dedicate yourself, time, talents and other blessings God has given you to building the kingdom of God. Members who make these covenants take them very seriously, as you should if you intend on making them. At the end of the endowment, you enter the celestial room, which is symbolic of entering into God's presence. The celestial room is a space where you can quietly contemplate your temple experience. It is a place of peace and refection. After your endowment, (or any time after you complete ordinances for the deceased) you can spend as much time as you would like in the celestial room. After you have been endowed in the temple, you are encouraged to return to undergo ordinances for the deceased. When you return to the temple, you can do baptisms (8) and confirmations (9), initiatories, endowments, or sealings (10). Each time you return to the temple, you can feel the same peace you felt the first time you entered and learn even more through the ordinances. Returning to the temple can become a source of strength and happiness to you. Endowment - An ordnance preformed in a temple of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. During the endowment, a person makes sacred covenants with God to live by His standards and obey His will.  Participants watch a video where they learn about the creation of the earth and follow the journey of Adam and Eve. Temple Recommend – A document that allows someone access to a temple of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. A temple recommend is given to someone who is in good standing with the church who has been a member for at least one year. Recommends are given to a person after they have a successful interview with their local church leaders. Melchizedek priesthood – The Melchizedek Priesthood is the second "level" of the overall priesthood.  It can be obtained by any worthy man within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints aged 18 and older.  The Melchizedek Priesthood is the higher of the two priesthoods.  When a man receives the Melchizedek Priesthood, he promises to live by the laws and ordinances of God. Bishop – Similar to a pastor, a leader of a congregation who has been asked to serve by a leader higher in the Church. Bishopric – Name given to a bishop and his councilors collectively. Stake President – The leader of a stake, or group of church congregations called wards. Temple Garment or Garment – Underclothing worn by members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints after they have received their temple endowment. Just as other religions have outer vestments that certain members wear, the temple garment is similar in significance. It is worn as a reminder of ones faith and duty to God. Baptism - An ordnance within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints where someone age eight or older pledges to follow Jesus Christ and his teachings.  The person is fully immersed in water and brought back up, symbolizing the death and resurrection of Christ.  At this time, all of the persons sins are forgiven by God. Confirmation – A confirmation usual happens shortly following a baptism. During a confirmation, Melchizedek Priesthood holders place their hands on the head of the person being confirmed. The person is then confirmed a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and is given the gift of the Holy Ghost. Sealing - An ordnance preformed within a temple of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that binds a married couple together forever or a child to their parents forever.

I’m such a loser for being here. Why am I trying this? It’s not going to help me.  These were the kind of thoughts that ran through my mind as I sat in my Dialectical Behavioral Therapy class. Despite everything I had been told, the lessons were not having the life changing effect that I thought that they would. I really wanted to change and tried my best, but I couldn’t help but feel that what I was learning wasn’t really helping me. That was the beginning of my experience with DBT. DBT or Dialectical Behavioral Therapy is a skills group usually taught by mental health professionals that helps people to better deal with their emotions, relationships, as well as one’s own interpersonal conflicts. DBT was recommenced as a treatment for me when I found out I was pregnant with my son. I had been struggling for years with behavioral issues, most notably angry outbursts. However, I wanted and now had very good reason to change. Despite this, I was still struggling in the class. Every week I would go in and look at the white binder in front of me and feel discouraged. When am I going to learn something that will help me? I thought. Then one day I was taught about the “turning the mind” skill. This particular skill comes from the distress tolerance section of the DBT manual. It is designed to help someone who is not wanting to accept something that is going on around them. Any time someone catches themselves in negative thoughts, they decide that they are going to accept what is happening as it is. If these thoughts return, then the person in turn decides to accept what is happening as it is again. This process can be repeated over and over until the person feels confident in accepting the reality of the situation. But the therapists in my group took this a step further. They taught that not only could this skill be used to help someone accept reality, but it could also be used to help with negative thoughts in general. Whenever I caught my mind beginning to run down a rabbit hole of negative thinking (or even if I found myself completely immersed in the dark tunnel) I would make a deliberate decision to think about something else. As simple as it sounds, constantly thinking about my thinking was an exhausting process. Because of how events in my life had affected me, I subconsciously spent a lot of time looking for things to go wrong. Such thinking has an effect on the mind over time. It colored my thoughts so that only negative one’s prevailed. I had to devote a lot of my mental energy into changing thought patterns that I had lived with all of my life. Sometimes it was as simple as catching a thought like “I’m such a horrible person” and replacing it with “I’m doing the best that I can.” But usually, it was more difficult. When I would find myself barraged with negative thoughts that wouldn’t stop coming, even my newfound way of thinking wouldn't be enough. In these circumstances, I would have to think of anything that would keep my mind clear. This often took the form of repeating over and over in my mind the steps of what I was doing. Although tedious, the strategy began to work, and I began to be more in control of my thoughts. Eventually, changing my thought patterns became easier as I practiced more with it. As my thinking became clearer, I began to see the value in what I was doing. Practicing this one particular skill was making my life easier. I no longer felt compelled to think about everything in a negative light. As my mind felt clearer, I began to be more open to other skills in DBT and how they might help me. The more skills I was willing to try out, the more I became interested in DBT and could see the impact it was having on my life. My transformation was slow and, at times, more difficult than I would have liked. I had many obstacles to overcome and still do. But the more work and effort I was willing to put in, the better results I saw in myself. Today I can say that DBT and the turning the mind skill have truly changed my life. Now when I catch myself in negative thinking, I know I have a choice I can make. I can either remain on the path I am on, continuing to think negatively or I can decide to think more positively.

Have you ever had a day when life just seemed too hard? You wake up and just wish you could just go back into the nice dream you were having. Before you even get out of bed, you are bombarded by the worries of the day like work, school, kids or any number of other things. And all you really want to do is settle down with a good book or some other distraction. The other day I woke up feeling just like this. Lazy and listless, I slowly pulled myself out of bed. I went about my morning routine without much enthusiasm. Afterward, as I sat down to write, I determined that I needed some inspiration. I thought I would look through some of my past writings and stumbled across this piece. It was just the jolt that I needed to move my mind from my own troubles: It was a fast and testimony meeting. This is a church meeting within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints that takes place on the first Sunday of every month. Members are asked to fast for two meals and come to church prepared to share their testimonies of Jesus Christ and other various aspects of the gospel. The last speaker to come up was an older black man dressed in an old sweatshirt, dingy jeans and a leather jacket that had seen better days. He arrived on the stand with the air of a man who did not care what others thought of him. He started his talk by saying he had not long ago been released from prison and how he felt so far away from the Lord there. He spoke about being “...in the dark place, the belly of the whale or whatever it is for you. I was there.” While he was incarcerated, he had longed to be able to go to a church meeting but could not. After he was released, he “bought an old sleeping bag from the DI” and slept in the cold outside of a restaurant. Laying on the cold ground in the 15º F (-9º C) weather he pleaded with God. He poured out his soul to his Heavenly Father asking for help and forgiveness. The voice of the spirit came to him and said, “A bishop (1) will come to you.” It wasn’t long after that that our bishop found the man and offered him help. “I could have died,” the man said. “In prison, in jail, on the street, but I didn’t. And I don’t care about the old leather jacket, the sweatshirt, the shoes that are mismatched but at least from the same company. What I care about is that I am here, and I can bear my testimony to you.” He ended his testimony by saying how much he loved and appreciated the bishop and others who had helped him along. He ended his testimony by saying “God bless you all,” and he walked off the stand. It was an amazing and beautiful moment when this man – who had suffered so much and had so little – wanted nothing more than to bear his testimony to us. I wanted to talk to the man after the meeting was over, but he left before I had a chance. I wanted to tell him how amazing he was and how much I had enjoyed what he had said. But by the time I was able to get out the door he had left by, he was gone. The memory was a reminder of how blessed I am in my situation. I have a home, food, running water, electricity, clothes and so on. The idea of living without these things made my issues seem small in comparison. More importantly though, this man's words spoke of God’s love for us. No matter what kind of situation you are in, the Lord is always there. All we need to do is reach out and ask for His help. He knows exactly what we need and how to help us. He will provide for us if we let Him. The reminder of the man’s story changed my outlook that day. I realized I was fortunate both materially and spiritually. I had what I really needed – more than, in fact. And although things were not ideal, (like they ever are) they were better than I had pictured them in my mind. (1) Bishop – Similar to a pastor, a leader of a congregation who has been asked to serve by a leader higher in the Church.

Being in crisis is a very difficult thing. It feels like all of your problems are insurmountable. It seems like nothing is going right and never will go right again. Often, any composure you had is broken, and even if you somehow can somehow scrape some together, it won’t take much to make it crumble. Helping someone out who is in crisis can be equally difficult. It’s often hard to know what to say or do. Having both worked in mental health care and been a client, I have experienced both of these situations. Because of this, I feel that it is important to know how to help someone who is experiencing such a crisis and would like to share with you some of the things that I have learned. A person in crisis has endured a build up of of these seemingly insurmountable problems over time or may have even experienced traumatic events that have lead them to this state. Their pain has gotten to the point that they can no longer manage it and are in need of help and reassurance. Seeing someone in crisis can be a scary and stressful experience. They may be screaming, crying or acting out in some other way. They may make threats to themselves or others. If the person you are talking to says they are suicidal, talk openly with them about it. Don’t be afraid to ask them if they have a plan. If the person has or hurt themselves, others, or if you think they may do so, call your local emergency telephone number such as 911. If emergency help must be called, ask for a CIT officer. CIT or Crisis Intervention Team officers have been trained ways to deescalate and communicate effectively with persons who are in crisis. They can help to neutralize the situation, leading to a better outcome for all involved. If the person is not in immediate danger, the best thing you can do is sit and listen to them. Remember that this person is in a lot of pain. Let them tell you what is going on with them. Let them know that though you may not fully understand what they are going through, you care for and want to help them. Validate the fact that this is a hard time for them. As therapist Larry Shushansky says, “Try not to figure out what the ‘right’ thing to say is – just be caring and concerned and let that show through in your conversation.”1 There are a few things you should not do while someone is in crisis. Do not yell at them or scold them for the way they are acting. Don’t tell them that they need to have a better attitude about life or otherwise diminish what they are experiencing. Now is not the time to debate whether what they are doing or telling you is right or wrong. Doing these things may actually make the situation worse. Another thing to remember is that you should give someone who is in crisis your full attention. Other activities need to be put on hold until the situation is under control. This includes things such as work, school, and religious observances. You would never insist that someone having a heart attack needs to go to church. The same should be said for someone who is suicidal or have some other type of mental health emergency. Once the person is calm and in a better state of mind, encourage them to seek the help of a therapist or psychologist. If they are already seeing one, encourage them to make an appointment as soon as possible. It can be very difficult dealing with someone who is in crisis. You may not feel like you know what to say or do. Please remember, the thing this person needs the most is for someone to be there for them. Someone to listen to them and understand their pain. You can be that person.

Not long ago I had a dream where my life all but revolved around my temple attendance. It seemed as if everything else I did was a kind of appendage to it. In this dream I was attending three times a week. It brought joy, peace and comfort into my life. When I woke up, I was intrigued by the idea, but unsure about it. I had already been attending once a week, and thought that this was surely is enough. But as the days went on, I continued to think about attending more often. After all, what was I doing with my free time after work? Not much. Also, the temple was only a ten minute drive away. One day I began to think about something that President Nelson said about temples: “If you have reasonable access to a temple, I urge you to find a way to make an appointment regularly with the Lord – to be in His holy house…”(1) Well I definitely had “reasonable access” and the time “to make an appointment regularly,” so I said why not. I’ll try it for a month and see what happens. It was at this time I decided that I would make a schedule for myself, since schedules make the autistic part of my brain happy. I wanted to try to go and do the same ordinances (2) at about the same times every week. The first ordnance I chose to do was sealings (3). The five year anniversary of me being sealed to my parents just happened to be on Wednesday of that week. I couldn’t think of a better way of starting out my new temple schedule. So sealings would be done on Wednesdays. I then chose initiatories (4) for Thursday and Endowments (5) for Friday. My schedule was set. During my first week of going three times in a row, I felt a bit odd. Part of my didn’t want to stick something else into my schedule. Was it really necessary to go that often? But as I was pondering this, a memory came to mind. I had done something similar before. Several years ago, during a difficult part of my life, I went twice a week with a couple of my friends. I remembered how happy and energized I felt, even with everything going on. And I could feel that way again. In fact, by the end of the week, I was already beginning to feel better physical, mentally and emotionally. I worried less about little things and felt that I was enjoying life more fully. I also felt that I chose my words more carefully when speaking and even thinking. I tried to make choices that would keep the Spirit that I felt in the temple near me rather than driving it away. Things like being more careful about the media I chose to watch. By week two I was starting to feel better about my decision. As I went to the temple more, I always had plenty of time to do the necessary things in my life. It also felt like less of my time was wasted. I saw that I not only wanted to go, but wanted to go back. That Sunday I also noticed that I was more willing to observe the day as a time for rest and giving back to God. I had observed the Sabbath before, but without much enthusiasm. Now I started to enjoy it a bit more. During week three, part of my temple time included going to the Red Cliffs Temple open house. I had gone to the St. George Temple open house only weeks before and loved seeing the temple redecorated to look like it did when it was first established. The Red Cliffs Temple was just as wonderful. The temple was beautiful inside and out. I particularly enjoyed the reflecting pools at the temple’s entrance. The temple itself was decorated in shades of purple and pale green with accents of rose and cream. The sparkling chandeliers and elegant furnishings gave it a feeling of grandeur. But the most incredible part of it was the feeling of peace and joy that being inside gave me. I was allowed to take the day off of work to go visit the temple. When I returned to work the next day, my boss asked me how it went, I told her it was wonderful. When she asked me to explain further I said, “It’s just the feeling of wanting to go back.” Going to the temple the three days in week four seemed natural for me. From the time that I entered each day to the time that I left, I felt like I really belonged there. By then I was enveloped in the need to return. In those four weeks, I had developed a greater appreciation and love for the temple. I was amazed at how temple attendance had affected me personally as well. In a short period of time, I had gone from feeling unsure about my new venture to enjoying every moment of it. I’m truly glad I decided to increase my temple attendance. It has truly become the best part of my week. 1. “Becoming Exemplary Latter-day Saints” Russell M. Nelson 2. Ordnance - An action preformed under priesthood authority which draws one closer to God.  Ordnances within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints include baptism and priesthood blessings as well as activities that take place in the temple. 3. Sealing - An ordnance preformed within a temple of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that binds a married couple together forever or a child to their parents forever. 4. Initiatory - An ordnance preformed in a temple of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  The initiatory ordnance prepares the person receiving it for further blessings within the temple.  Within the initiatory, blessings are given regarding their "heritage and potential." 5. Endowment - An ordnance preformed in a temple of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. During the endowment, a person makes sacred covenants with God to live by His standards and obey His will. Participants watch a video were they learn about the creation of the earth and follow the journey of Adam and Eve.

In my last post, Moving and Miracles, I told you about a few of the times I had to move. One of those times my living arrangements didn’t work out. I would like to tell you that story now. This particular move taught me a life lesson that I still find valuable today. The day I left my ex-husband, I went to a women's shelter. Nervous, alone and perhaps a bit naïve, I arrived at the safe house. A young woman greeted me and helped me bring my things inside. I told her my story. About my husband's erratic behavior and verbal abuse. About my lack of close friends and nearby family. About my mound of insecurities. She agreed that the shelter would be a good option for me. I felt intimidated by the shelter when I arrived. My roommates were nice enough and helped me the best they could. But it still didn’t take away the feeling of being lost. It had been six years since I had been on my own. And before that I had only lived on my own for less than a year. How was I going to handle this? One of the house rules was that you must be actively looking for a place to live. To be honest, this kind of terrified me. Housing in the area wasn’t cheap and I feared I could not find an affordable place. That’s when I started praying. A few days later, it seemed my prayers had been answered. A mother and her adult daughter, who we will call Audrey and Desiree respectively, approached me. “There’s a house for rent over on…” Audrey said, “They are renting the bottom and the top separately. We are going to rent the downstairs and, we don’t want just anyone renting the upstairs. We want someone we know we will be safe with. Someone cool. Like you.” Wow! What a quick answer to my prayers. How nice of them to think of me. I agreed almost immediately. Within days, I had an attic apartment. And to top it off, I had made new friends. I finally felt hopeful. Right after I moved in, Audrey and Desiree introduced me to our neighbor, who I’ll call Peter. Peter knew the previous renter of my apartment and he wasted no time bringing up the subject, “So that guy who lived there before you, he went to jail.” I nodded; Audrey told me this before I moved in. “You wanna know why he went to jail?” Peter asked in a conspiratorial tone, “He stole a bunch of food from the store over there.” He pointed to a grocery store less than a block away. “Oh,” I said. Because what do you say when you hear something like that? “And I took some of it from him. But it’s not like I did anything wrong. He wanted to give it to me, and so I took it.” O-kay, I thought to myself as Audrey and Desiree stood, nodding in total agreement. Then I saw the flicker of a red flag, waving in the corner of my consciousness. But they're my friends. The thought rushed into my mind, crushing my doubt. Peter might be a bit morally ambiguous, but Audrey and Desiree? They helped me in my hour of need. Some time later, Audrey had me come down to her part of the house. She was sitting in the living room with Desiree. “Would you like to have me put some blond streaks in your hair?” she asked. “I’m a hairdresser and can do it for you. I just need you to help pay for the dye.” I had never dyed my hair before and the idea intrigued me. What a nice gesture. “Sure I will,” I said. No sooner than the words had left my mouth, Audrey started to speak in Pig Latin to Desiree. While I sat there, smiling, that little red flag poked up it’s head again. And again, I ignored it. If they wanted a private conversation, then let them have it. They were still my kind, accepting friends. Right? After their “conversation” Desiree asked me if I would take her to get some hair dye. I agreed, because what else would a good friend do? We went to a beauty supply store where Desiree picked out some blond dye. As agreed earlier, I paid for the dye, fully believing my new friends would pay me back with a new hairdo. But when we got back, mother and daughter wanted to watch a movie with me. The blond streaks were forgotten for the evening. In fact, a week went by and it was never mentioned. There’s that pesky little red flag again. In time I forgot about it. I didn’t really want to mess with my hair color anyway. So I continued to live in my attic apartment for a couple of months. Occasionally Audrey or Desiree would ask me for a favor and I would continue to oblige. It wasn't that bad, even though they never once said “thank you” or offered to return the favor. Am I seeing that red flag again? Huh. But otherwise I couldn’t complain about my living arrangements. Or should I say I didn’t. Peter had a penchant for using a chainsaw. Which wasn’t so bad, until he started using it at four am. There were also loud parties on the weekend and a whole other host of things that I don’t want to get into here. Many of them brought up those red flags that I was insisting on ignoring. But I figured I should just deal with it. After all, everyone has problems with their neighbors. If I moved somewhere else, there would just be different problems. It was worth it to have my new friends so close by. Then one day Desiree got a job. When she told me, she seemed pretty proud of herself, which I suppose is to be expected. I didn’t think much of it until about a week later when mother and daughter asked me for a ride to a friend's apartment. I use the word “apartment” here loosely. It was really just a revamped hotel room. It was about a third the size of my current living space, featured a microwave instead of a stove and the only sink was in the bathroom. The friend in question was a man who talked the whole time about the money he made as a logger. Apparently he was in between jobs and planned to move out very soon. “So how much do you pay for this place,” Audrey asked. I don’t remember the amount he said but it was too much; I paid less for my apartment. An apartment with a real sink and stove. “Wow,” Audrey said, standing up and stretching her arms out, as if awed by the beauty of some grand, celestial space, “All of this for only…” Seriously? I thought. It was like a light bulb went off in my head. One that illuminated a red flag the size of North Dakota. These people didn’t really want me to meet their friend. They wanted to try and trick me into moving into his “apartment” when he moved out. It all made sense. Now that Desiree had a job, she could afford to rent out the upstairs. So it seemed like I wasn’t the only one having problems with my living arrangements. It wasn’t long afterward that I started looking for another place to live. After living there for four months, I was done with being used, the loud parties, the early morning chainsaws, and a whole slew of other “questionable” things that happened, many of which had their own little red flag attached that I either explained away or just ignored. To tell the truth, I’m a bit embarrassed that I stayed for that long. But staying there taught me that I should not ignore signs that something may be off in a situation or another person’s behavior. I’m not saying you should never give someone the benefit of the doubt, but you should give heed to warning signs, especially if they are regularly repeated. My willingness to finally see these flags was all that I needed to decide to move on with my life and into the mother-in-law apartment that I mentioned in my last post.

I was once in a Sunday School meeting where we were discussing paying tithing.  The meeting had been opened up for discussion when an older lady raised her hand and declared, “I can not afford not to pay my tithing.”  These words struck me.  I had never thought about it in those terms, but I felt the same way. Even though I haven't always been a full tithe payer, I found the time that I did pay tithing to be much more financially sound than when I did not.  I have never found this more true than when I have had to move.  Paying tithing has helped me to not only have the funds needed in my moving, but has seen opportunities open up before me. Several years ago, I found myself at a crossroads in my life.  I had just left a verbally abusive husband.  During that time, I hadn't always followed my religion as closely as I could.  One of the first things I decided to do on my own was to change that. This included paying a full tithe.  I didn't have much income at the time (I was receiving social security disability payments), but I decided that I needed to pay a full tithing on it anyway.  I also paid tithing on a small student loan I had taken out.  I saw the blessings of this almost immediately. Not wanting to confront my husband when I left, I let him have our apartment along with most everything in it.  After which, I found myself living in a women's shelter.  At first I was afraid that I would never be able to find another place to live that was in my budget, but I held on to my faith that Heavenly Father would help me.  Within a few weeks, I was approached by a mother and her adult daughter that also lived in the shelter.  They wanted to know if I would rent a house with them.  After finding the space I would be living in was well within my price range, I agreed.  Now I was only left with the matter of furnishing it.  I decided to use some of my student loan to buy furnishings.  To my relief, I was able to find everything that I needed at a local thrift store and still had money left over.  It seemed that paying tithing had worked out for me after all. Sometime later, I was put in a position where I would have to move again.  The situation with the mother and daughter had not worked out, and I had moved into an apartment off the side of a family's home.  After living there for a couple of years, the father of the family wanted to use the space for an office.  He presented me with a “no-fault” eviction notice.  I had no job at the time and knew I would need one to be able to afford rent somewhere else.  As best I could I put together a resume and started to look for work.  Days dragged on and I was unable to find a job or another apartment.  I was starting to wonder if I would find anything.  But my faith was in my Father in Heaven.  Finally, towards the end of the month I found a job where I was hired on the spot.  A few days later, an apartment opened up.  With my new job, I just made the three times the rent that I would need to move in. Several years later, I would find myself in a different apartment.  It was near a noisy intersection, a loud athletic field, and a busy high school.  I had recently had new neighbors move in who liked to play loud music and had a dog that yowled all night.  On top of that, the company I was renting from was raising my rent yet again.  In the past I didn't mind living in such a noisy area.  I figured it was worth it for such reasonable rent.  But now it had reached a point where it was on par with other rentals in town.  If I was going to pay that much in rent anyway, I was going to look for something quieter. I hadn't been in my search long when I found something interesting.  There was a house for rent that was in the same neighborhood that my son lived in.  The rent was just a little higher than I was paying for my apartment.  Even better, water, sewer, and trash were included in the rent.  I immediately called and set up an appointment to look at the property. When I went to look at the house, it was a bit run down, but that didn't bother me.  I had lived in worse conditions with far less privacy and quiet than a house would afford.  The house was being shown to multiple people at once and I kept waiting for others to show up.  No one did.  The only other people who showed up were a group of college girls who didn't look remotely interested.  After they left, the manager told me that as long as I could pay the rent and deposit, the house was essentially mine. And the miracles did not end there.  The rent has not gone up on my home, despite the cost of rent increasing everywhere else in my area.  This has been a great blessing to me, allowing me to go through job changes and other financial issues with less worry. I truly believe that paying tithing has helped me when I was in need of a place to rent.  Though problems arrived, I always found myself with a roof over my head one way or another.  Sometimes things worked out better than I anticipated.  I am glad that I discovered the benefits of always paying my ten percent to the Lord.

One of my favorite hymns is “If You Could Hie to Kolob.” I love how it speaks of some of our least understood and least talked about beliefs. It shines a light on the author's thoughts and questions not only on the beginning of creation itself, but how it all works. It then goes on to describe the personal revelation the author received while thinking on these things. What is laid out by this hymn is absolutely fascinating. The song starts out mysteriously, talking about traveling from Earth to Kolob, the star that is closest to God (Abraham 3:2-3) “in the twinkling of an eye.” In other words, traveling much faster than light speed. Seeing that it takes eight minutes for light from our sun to travel to Earth, traveling instantly from Earth to a star in an unknown part of the universe would be impossibly fast. It goes on to talk about traveling at post-light speed infinitely backwards through time to go to see the beginning of, well, everything. As the author puts it, to “see the grand beginning.” (emphasis added) I can’t help but feel excitement at the idea. Just the idea that there was a place where “space did not extend” is fascinating. Space and time are what make up the fabric of our universe. If they do “not extend,” then we are left with literally nothing. It is hard to wrap your mind around the idea. The listener is then immediately shot forward into the future at the same impossible speed. We are invited to consider “the last creation, where Gods and matter end[.]” We are then gently brought back to now. The Holy Ghost reveals to the author that no mortal has ever witnessed such a place. The rest of the song is a testimony about the work of eternal creation. This is where my favorite line comes in, “The works of God continue / And worlds and lives abound.” Can you imagine? I’ve never considered myself an outer space enthusiast, but I can’t help but be excited by the idea of life on other worlds. Not just life, but life that was created by our God through Jesus Christ. In Moses chapter one, Heavenly Father is talking to Moses about all of His creations, including other worlds. He says, “And worlds without number have I created; and I also created them for mine own purpose; and by the Son I created them, which is mine Only Begotten” (Moses 1:33) He goes on to say, “But only an account of this earth, and the inhabitants thereof, give I unto you… (Moses 1:35, emphasis added) I feel like this is such an important phrase. When God says, “this earth and the inhabitants thereof” He is saying that the other worlds he has created are also inhabited. The song’s next verse is comforting to me. It says, “Improvement and progression/Have one eternal round.” To me this is a promise that you don’t have to be perfect today, tomorrow or even next week. We are invited to better ourselves over time. The hymn goes on to say that many things are never ending. The first of those things is “matter.” Here the song appears to contradict itself. Just a few verses ago it talks about a place “where Gods and matter end.” In my opinion (and trust me, this is just my thoughts on the subject, not Church doctrine) that this matter can be solved with a bit of mathematics. You see there can be infinites within infinity. If you take two numbers on a number line, let's just say one and two, there can be infinite points in between them. Right after number one you can have 1.1, 1.2, 1.3 and so on. In fact, you can place any number of numbers, even an infinite number of them behind the 1. and it would still fit on the number line between one and two. Here we can see that there can be an infinity within an infinity. Therefore, matter may end in one particular place in space, but it goes on in others. And since “There is no end to space,” matter could continue to go on in the infinity of space forever. By far the most uplifting part of the song comes in the final stanzas of the hymn. It is here we are told that there is no ending to “virtue” and “love.” That goodness and purity can be found not just within our own universe, but it is limitless throughout the many universes beyond it. “[W]isdom,” “light,” and “truth” are also limitless. As mentioned in an earlier verse, “Improvement and progression/Have one eternal round.” All around us are opportunities to learn and grow. And those opportunities will continue with us through eternity. By far the most important message of the song is found in the very last stanza: “There is no end to being;/There is no death above.” This sentiment is repeated twice. The author leaves us his testimony that while our mortal bodies may die, our spirits will live on. That through the Atonement and resurrection of Jesus Christ, we all will rise again. “If You Could Hie to Kolob” is one of my favorite hymns not just because of the amazing ideas that it gives us, but because of the doctrines it teaches and the comfort they give. We may not talk about them very often, but it does not make them any less important. If anything, this makes the message of the hymn even more important, so that we can be reminded of these truths.

Authors Note: I am well aware members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints have been asked to use the full name of the Church when we are speaking about it. In this blog entry, more often than not, I don't do that. This is a stylistic choice. Most people who are outside of or are just learning about the Church usually use nicknames such as "Mormon" or "LDS." So, for the sake of continuity, this is what I did. I have said my peace. When I was 17, my mother died of a drug and alcohol overdose. My mother had sole custody of me, and my father rarely came to visit. So when I went to live with my dad and step-mom, who I will call Franklin and Carol, things were a bit… complicated. I was a confused teenager dealing with the loss of a parent along with other trauma collected along the way. Franklin and Carol were dealing with a troubled teen who had unexpectedly been dropped on their doorstep. I was often emotional and prone to behavioral outbursts. They felt I needed tough love and had little tolerance for my behavior. Nevertheless, I loved them and they me. From here I would attain the roll of both beloved daughter and eternal black sheep. A few years later Franklin, Carol, and I would move to California. We would also bring with us two of my step-sisters, Cindi and Miriam, and their families. I thought that this would be a grand adventure. When we first arrived in California, I was in a “beloved daughter” stage with my family. I lived with my parents and, for a period of time, we more or less got along. That was until I had an episode of mental illness. Then I went back to being the “black sheep” and was dropped off at a homeless shelter. From here I would find my way into a series of group homes and some very traumatic events. When my family invited me to move with them again, I was more than happy to go. So on a sunny July fourth, I found myself in a moving van headed for Utah. That day, I pictured a scene in my mind from my teenage years. I remembered looking at a map of the United States. For some reason, the state of Utah caught my attention. I laughed aloud, “I’m never going there,” I said. After all, who wants to go to Utah? Half of it’s mountains, the other half is Mormons. Guess I was wrong. In Utah, I was finally able to become independent. It took some time, but I was able to get my own apartment and start making more of my own decisions. And one of the things I decided on was I would never be one of those “Mormons.” Other people could be whatever religion they wanted, but I would just stick to what I had always known. At the time I was a non-denominational Christian. I had been to several different churches in my life. Everything from Catholic to Pentecostal. From my point of view, every Christian church worshiped the same God and had the same bible, so whichever one I went to made no difference to me. After being on my own for about a year, I would meet a man who I will call Clay. We started dating shortly after we met. It was during this time that I would learn that Clay was a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Though Clay was quirky to say the least, he didn’t seem like a bad guy. And his parents, who we will call Iris and Eric, were some of the nicest people I had ever met. Sometimes the LDS church would come up in conversation, and I felt a duty to go along with it. I found some of what I heard interesting, but it didn’t compel me to join. It wasn’t until things started to get serious between Clay and I that I first considered joining the LDS church. I still wasn’t swayed by any doctrine and still held the belief that all churches were pretty much the same. It just felt things might go more smoothly if I did. Around this same time, my parents started investigating the Mormon church. Carol had received a copy of the Book of Mormon and within two days she finished it. “Did you know that the missionaries pay for their missions themselves,” she asked me one day. I found myself intrigued by her response to the Church. It turned out that a pair of missionaries was coming over to teach a lesson. Setting my cup of coffee aside, I decided that I would sit in on the conversation. The missionaries looked like a couple of nice young men, wearing neat ties and name badges. After some brief pleasantries, they began their lesson. “Before we came to Earth, we lived as spirits with Heavenly Father.” This seemed okay. No one had ever out and out told me this before, but I think I had always assumed it. After all, we had to come from somewhere, didn’t we? “We came to this Earth to prove our faithfulness to Heavenly Father and see if we would follow his commandments. But we would sometimes fall short of keeping them. Since Heavenly Father knew that we would sin, he sent his son, Jesus Christ to die for the sins of the world and offer us salvation.” Okay, makes sense, I thought. The whole idea behind Christianity is to believe in God and accept Christ as our Savior. As I continued to listen, I saw that most of what they were saying wasn’t at odds with what I had been taught before. If anything, what I heard seemed to complement and complete things I had already learned. But there was one big difference – I could feel the Holy Ghost so strongly while the young men spoke. Though I wasn’t completely convinced, I was willing to learn more. When Iris and Eric found this out, they were a little too eager to give me a Book of Mormon. I was both impressed with their faith and intimidated by their fervor. “This is all well and good,” I said after they had all but cornered me with their enthusiasm, “But it's not helping me,” I told them. “It’s making me feel pressured.” After that, they toned it down a bit after that and turned things over to the missionaries. The missionaries encouraged me to read the Book of Mormon, and found it foreign and familiar at the same time. It used the same language as the bible and taught many of the same truths. But some things were new and different. As I read about how Christ visited people in the Americas after his resurrection, it seemed reasonable to me. Why wouldn’t Jesus want to visit God’s children throughout the world? He had just given his life for them. It just made sense. During their next visit, the missionaries spoke about modern prophets. It was something I would have never considered before. In my mind, prophets had just been around to preach about Jesus’ birth. Why would we need them now? Then one of the missionaries started talking about Joseph Smith. “Joseph Smith was called as a prophet of God to restore the true church to the Earth,” they began. “He translated the Book of Mormon by the gift and power of God.” As they said this, the feeling of the Spirit was almost overpowering and I knew there had to be something to it. But my mind wasn’t quite made up. After the lesson was over the missionaries asked me a question. “What do you think about prophets after what you have learned? Do you believe in them?” The idea of a modern prophet didn’t necessarily sound impossible, but it was still strange to me. I would have to think about it. I answered them honestly, “I think I could.” The missionary I spoke to looked at his companion and smiled like he had just won the lottery. What I had been taught that day stuck with me. It rattled around in my mind to the point that I couldn't think about much else. I knew I had to make a decision. Much of what I had been taught was already in the bible. And a lot more of it seemed reasonable. But what about modern prophets? It still seemed odd. But I could still remember the feeling of the Spirit in that room. It was as if the Holy Ghost had tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Hey. Listen. This is the truth.” It was a fact I couldn’t ignore any longer. If I trusted in the Spirit, which I knew I did, then it must be true. With this in mind, there was only one thing I could do – believe it. Shortly after that, I set a date to be baptized. But this would only be the first chapter of my conversion to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. As time would go on, I would face challenges in my faith and for a time, I set it aside. But changes in my life would lead me to find it again.